Both "Interpreter of Maladies" and "Sexy" deal with the topic of infidelity. What are your views on infidelity? Why do you think people cheat?
How do you define infidelity? Laxmi, for instance, says in "Sexy" that she would leave her husband if he even looked at another woman. Would you consider Mr. Kapasi guilty of infidelity because of his thoughts about Mrs. Das?
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I think just looking at another person or having a passing thought about them (like Mr. Kapasi did) is not cheating, so Mr. Kapasi isn't really guilty of anything other than having an overactive imagination. Infidelity to me is when a person goes out and makes the effort to physically do something with another person with something sexual in mind. For example, if a husband goes on multiple dates with a woman from work but doesn't actually sleep with her, it's still cheating because of his intentions. I think once a person cheats, they're just trying to get out of the relationship they're in, or don't care enough about their spouse or family to stop themselves. They're at a point where their partner is no longer enough, and they don't care enough to fix it, so they run into the arms of another.
My views on infidelity are that people shouldnt cross their limits and do something which they are not supposed to do especially when they are in a relationship. I think people cheat because either they are not happy with their married life or they dont love the person that much as they did when got into relationship. They start to think of it as a burden. Thus they look for somebody who takes interest in them, listens to what they have to say and be supportive. In some way Mr. Kaplasi is guilty of thinking about Mrs. Das even when he had a wife. In my opinion, if a person loves their spouse then they wouldnt think of cheating on them. "You" marry that person because you want to be with them and spend your life not think of cheating on them.
obviously, you're allowed to look at something or just wonder off for a moment and i don't think it would be considered cheating. however, infidelity is a big NO in my book. the fact that miranda kept hearing everyday from laxmi about how her cousin was being cheated on, and yet she still became the "mistress" so to say, was a little shocking. she listens to how much it's killing that relationship and still she doesn't care to ruin someone elses. i think marriage is a big part of your life. you can't settle for less because you never know who that person could really be. it scares me how you really could never know if your husbands cheating on you. by cheating on your spouse, your saying that theyre not enough anymore and youve lost interest. infidelity is horrible.
looking at someone or having unusual thoughs about them is not cheeting because i believe its human nature to be attracted to someone when you are in a relationship with some one else,like Mr. Kapasi. he was having feelings for Mrs.Das because she took interest in his work unlike his own wife.Mrs.Das showed some affection when she said it was romantic, to Mr.Kapasi it was some kind of attraction that he never had from his wife.so in my view Mr.Kapasi is not guilty of infidelity just becuase of his thoughts about Mrs.Das. well i think if you are in a relationship andjust look or think about some one other than your partner is not infidelity. like in "Sexy" when Laxmi says she would leave her husband if he even looked at another woman. i think that would be a little extreme because that kind of says that she needs a reason to leave her husband. thats the message i got
it is human nature to be attracted to other people at a time. i don't think a man or husband is cheating if he looks at another woman physically, but it becomes cheating when other intentions become involved such as sleeping around on the significant other or going out on with them.
I feel like cheating is something that actually happens physically, while infidelity is either cheating or having thoughts about cheating. Infidelity is almost like a natural thing. Everybody has thoughts of infidelity, but only the truly committed can resist cheating. So yeah, Mr. Kapasi was being a little infidel when he was thinking about cheating, but only he knows, so he can only feel guilt if he lets himself. The woman, Mrs. Das in that story, is the one who actually cheated. In the story she feels terrible about it every day. But you get the sense that at the end, Mr. Kapasi realizes he was just being a little overly excited.
Infidelity, in my opinion, is when you're not loyal to your spouse. Mr. Kapasi isn't guilty of infidelity because he never had an affair or cheated on his wife. Sure he thought about loving another woman, but the action was never taken. He just looked at another woman, thought she was beautiful and WANTED to have a relationship, doesn't mean he did. Whereas Miranda in sexy went above her limits and dated a married man, she's guilty of infidelity. And besides, Mr. Kapasi doesn't even love his wife, i don't blame him for looking at others or wanting someone to fall in love with.
infedelity is when you cheat on some one to whom u r married 2.you betray their trust bys sleeping with another person. i dont think mr. karpasi is guilty of infedelity. i dont think that looking at other women is the same thing as sleeping with them. i think a look-but-dont-touch policy is ok. it really depends on ur spouse though.if ur spouse is the jelous type then she/he wont want u looking at others from the oppisite sex either and he/she might call that cheating.
I think that infidelity is something that occurs when an individual is thoughtless and selfish. You have declared your loyalty to an individual and infidelity is displaying in any way a lack of loyalty. Infidelity can been as small as a husband looking at or paying more attention to another woman who is not his wife(and responds to his attention) or as large as having a physical relationship with someone other than your spouse. An overactive imagination (or maybe I just read too deeply into things) may be the basis of my definition but I think that having a relationship with someone requires full devotion to them.
Although each case is different, I do not think that Mr. Kapasi IN THIS CASE is guilty of cheating only because Mrs. Das was clearly NOT interested in him. He was confusing her interest in his job as interest in himself as a person. If she had responded in a way that was in any suggestive or if she payed him a little too much attention then I would call it cheating.
I think that when two people are in a monogamous relationship, its wrong for either of them to desire or attempt to have physical or emotional interaction with someone else. Unfortunately, people get stuck in loveless marraiges and can't do anything about it. In that case, I think it's wrong for me to say that a kind person like Mr. Kapasi should just deal with the fact that he's lonely and not in love with his wife, who feels the same way. I think it's wrong for me to say that he shouldnt attempt to find love somewhere, but to go behind his wife's back is betrayal- even if she doesn't love him. I'm not saying that he betrayed his wife by having an overactive imagination and planned on conducting a secret correspondence with a younger American woman because he's lonely. But I can only imagine what Mr.Kapasi's wife would have thought or felt if she discovered letters he sent to her. I think that no matter how lonely Miranda is, she had no right whatsoever to have an affair with that married man. She's obviously very selfish to continue it after she hears from Laxmi how devastated her cousin felt after her husband left her.
My views on infidelity are that it should not be done and i TRULY believe that if your going to cheat then you need to man or woman enough to get out the situation instead of making it worst. I don't believe that people should cheat but sadly it does happen and i belive that if your planning on doing it than you should truly get what you deserve. I do however know that sometimes "things happen" and that situations are "complicated" but I feel like you should try and make it work and if it doesn't work out than just get out. I think that people cheat for many reasons. One reason is for the fact that the realtionship they are in is unfulfilling such as Mr. Kaspi. He look to Mrs. Das as a way out. However i do not believe that Mr. Kaspi was cheating. Like many of you have said I agree that its hman nature to be physically attracted to someone eles whether your in a relationship or not and at one time or another we may find ourselves fantaszing about being the next person and therefore i do not believe that Mr. Kaspi should feel gulity because he didn't really do anything even though he was planning on starting this secret relationship with mrs. das
I believe that infedility is what Miranda did and that is sleeping with another man and just having a relationship with someone else that is currently taken. However infedility to me is not only defined as physical because it can me a mental thing as well. You can be mentality cheating and that to me can be just as disastorous as doing the physical thing.
What i think is that cheating is morally wrong but cheating only when it is physical. You can not control what a person is thinking so anyone can think of other people but what makes it cheating are physical acts like kissing etc. Also i think there is no excuse for cheating if you are having trouble with a relationship then talk about it with your partner. If the relationship doesn't work out then go ahead and meet someone else but break up with the person you are with at least before you do that. When a person finds out you were cheating it can be very devestating to them. So i believe there is no excuse to cheat on someone cause that just causes more problems and hurts someone a lot worse than a breakup becuase they start to think what is wrong with them. This is one of the worst things you can do to a person.
I believe that although having feelings for someone else does not make a person guilty of infidelity, it definitely shows a serious problem and weakness in their marriage. Once a person sees that they're starting to have feelings for someone else, I think that should be a serious wake-up call for them to start working on their marriage. Instead of putting their efforts into exploring those feelings and ending up doing something they shouldn't, they should put that effort into their marriage and fixing their problems. In my opinion, if they fail to do so, usually they will end up going too far and actually end up being unfaithful to their spouse. I think that's completely unforgivable because if they really don't want to be with their spouse anymore, they should be honest about it and split up before they do something with someone else. And if they do actually love their spouse and they don't want to split up, then why would they do something that could end up hurting their spouse and their marriage so terribly? It makes no sense. In my opinion, there is absolutely no way to rationalize infidelity.
i believe that people cheat on there partner because maybe they are unsatisfied with their relationship or they are untrustful. My views on infidelity is that looking at someone is not cheating. Having thoughts about doing something with someone else is heading in the wrong direction but only to a certain point. Mr Kapasi didn't really plan a big thing in his mind, he only had sexually feelings towards mrs. Das and ended up not doing anything anyway. If he would of been more obessed or actually did something, then he should of felt gulity.
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